"Yay! It's Valentine's Day" Yeah, how i wish i could shout that out loud today happily..
Things turned sorrow when i received an unexpected sms yesterday..I dont know what went wrong but im sure it is something that could make me feel a total upside down person not knowing what my feeling was on that period of time..I knew something was not right within my family..I was in school bringing joy to people by laughing (but deep down inside my heart, was i happy?)
"Hey WenYuin, why are you so quiet today?" A question striked down to me during recess..I did not know what to answer but i lied by giving a reason
"oh, my ulcer's causing me pain, so i dowana talk much" And yup, everything went on well as usual..Hope is something i am looking for..Something I have been waiting for..
For a miracle to come..! When i came back home, everything seems fine..
"Fake Happiness" followed me back all the way from school..What happened next? The moment i closed my bathroom door, I couldnt stop thinking about nonsense..Was i too bad? Did i just suck? Was i not prepared earlier? Did i not care about other people's feeling? Why am i here?
EMO = break down..Thank god there was this BIG pail of water beside me..Poured the cooling water down through my skin..Feeling the freshness of my body..My Heart bleeds while telling me
"everything would be fine, now go and take ur lunch, im sure you're hungry (i dont feel anything at all today).." I took my porridge, another question striked by my daddy
.."You fought........" My mom shut him up before he could go anymore further..Alright, i think they know something..
"why suddenly he's not coming?" asked my mom.. My brain went blank..Nothing came out from my mouth, just lifting up my shoulder as a sign that I DONT KNOW..But i ended up lying again by saying he's BUSY today! Therefore,
i DESERVE to hate MYSELF because i hate liars..
Slowly feeding myself with the porridge, it went into my mouth, down to the throat and then to the stomach to be digested..I was watching tv but everything seems black and white..Or should i describe it as BLANK when i am sure my mind wasn't concentrating on the tv but deep down in my heart..My porridge seems tasteless although i had three types of vege on my plate..What came through my senses are the whispers i heard from my parents..And that left a mark on me not knowing what to say and do next if anybody wishes me happy valentine's day again..
Even the cough doesnt wanna let go of me..What more to say? My mom asked me to go for a doctor if my condition becomes worse..And i wonder
"Is there any such doctor that can cure my heart rather than curing my cough?"
To summarize everything up, yes, today is my
LONELY VALENTINE's DAY..single awareness? never felt that way before except this year (the special 2008 year)
To forget somebody is not easy..But never will i forget someone i met like him :)
When there's a Hope, Nothing is impossible..
So i should stay "hoping" that something i treasure most will come back to me one day..
To the people out there,
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ..may you all have a great one ^^